We’ve all seen it—a dog pushed past their limit. It might be the owner who thinks their dog is at ease around other dogs when they’re really scared. Or it could be the overly friendly person on the sidewalk who ignores an owner’s request to leave their dog alone. Whatever the circumstances, the dog is forced to endure a situation they shouldn’t have to, and the consequences can be catastrophic. For our dogs’ wellbeing and everybody’s safety, the dogs’ comfort should come first. The best way to do that is to become your dog’s advocate.
Why You Need to Advocate for Your Dog
When a dog is pushed past what they can tolerate, known in training circles as “over threshold,” they are no longer able to think about their actions. Instead, they may react emotionally. So that amazing sit and stay you had in the kitchen goes out the window when your dog is near their stressors. Perhaps they bark and lunge at other dogs instead of listening to you or simply ignore you to sniff the ground as a displacement behavior when children are around. It’s up to you to understand that isn’t disobedience. It’s a sign your dog is overwhelmed.
Being forced to stay in an uncomfortable situation can traumatize a dog and further sensitize them to that trigger in the future. Putting your dog in a stressful environment is also unsafe. Dogs over threshold may feel the need to protect themselves, and they might do that by biting. So not only are you upsetting your dog and setting back their training, but you’re putting your dog and others at risk as well.
Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up
My friend’s dog “Wesley” recently bit another dog during training class. Wesley had just completed a stay exercise that forced him to be close to another dog, something that stresses him out. When Wesley returned to his station, he passed right by the other dog and bit her in the snout. Thankfully, the other dog wasn’t injured and didn’t bite back, and her owner understood. However, my friend felt mortified and guilty. She knew Wesley was anxious around other dogs, and he had an eye infection on top of it all, yet she felt uncomfortable telling the trainer she would sit the exercise out.
It’s hard to speak up, especially when you feel your dog isn’t perfect. My friend apologized to the other owner and to the trainer running the class, but she couldn’t take back the bite. Ideally, the trainer should have realized that exercise was too much for Wesley, but running a group training class means monitoring all the dog and human students. It’s a lot to manage. Ultimately, as a dog owner, you are the one who needs to be on top of your dog’s emotional wellbeing.
That’s a lesson my friend learned the hard way. So did I. My mixed-breed dog is quite anxious around strangers and other dogs. In the beginning, I had a hard time telling others to back away and leave him alone. I was afraid I might offend them and felt embarrassed since my dog wasn’t friendly and outgoing. I also trusted that people would see he was scared. But many people are oblivious to dog body language and their own dogs’ rude behavior. It was Chi Chi who suffered for my lack of assertiveness. Finally, I started telling people, “He’s not friendly.” because it was the most likely phrase to guarantee him some space.
Read Your Dog’s Body Language and Act Accordingly
Whether your dog is just having a bad day or is always scared by certain triggers, you need to learn to read your dog’s body language. This will allow you to anticipate situations that will cause them distress. Look for signs such as pinned back ears, a tucked tail, hunched posture, yawning, displacement behaviors like sniffing the ground, and so on that tell you your dog is uncomfortable. Then, do what you can to ease their nerves.
That might mean walking away in the other direction or crossing the street to escape from strangers on the sidewalk. It might mean taking your dog out of the environment entirely. But it might also mean speaking up and telling others to keep their distance. Not everybody has to say hello to your dog. And remember, you don’t owe people an explanation. A simple “my dog isn’t friendly” or “we’re in training” should be enough.
Put your dog’s welfare above your own embarrassment. Remember that your dog is counting on you to keep them safe, so don’t worry if your neighbor finds you rude because you won’t let their grandkids pat your dog. Focus on your dog’s gratitude and relief instead.
Accept Your Dog for Who They Truly Are
The hardest part of becoming my dog’s advocate was accepting him for who he truly is. He isn’t a social butterfly and never will be, but I worried about other people’s judgement. Dogs are supposed to be friendly, after all. But that’s not true for all dogs and certainly not for mine. Once I realized what he needed to be happy, it became easier to speak up and keep others away. Chi Chi became my focus, and the potential opinions of my neighbors became inconsequential.
Of course, at the same time as being my dog’s advocate, I worked very hard to help him feel comfortable in the world. We took reactive dog classes and used desensitization and counterconditioning techniques. It’s not enough to avoid triggers, you need to help your dog accept them too. If your dog is having more than just an overwhelming day, work with a behaviorist or experienced professional dog trainer to help your dog overcome their fears. That’s one of the most important pieces of advocacy you can do. Then day to day, watch your dog and be their protector. Your dog will be happier and safer thanks to your support.