We all love our dogs. In fact, many of us probably love all dogs. The bond between human and canine can be so close that it might seem we can read each other’s thoughts and feelings. While this is true to some extent, the fact is that dogs aren’t people; they don’t behave, react, or process information the same way we do. And sometimes the result is like the famous line from “Cool Hand Luke:” “What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.”
Key Points
Here are several ways anthropomorphism gets in the way of good communication with our dogs.
Why Most Dogs Don’t Enjoy Being Hugged
Sad, but true. While dogs may not say it in so many words, dog professionals will tell you to watch your dog’s behavior when they’re being hugged. Many dogs yawn or lick their lips — signs of discomfort or anxiety. Or they may pin their ears back or show the whites of their eyes.
You may find it hard to resist hugging, or even do it all the time. But chances are your dog is tolerating it, not delighting in it. Better ways to show your dog affection include leaning against them, allowing them to lie their head on your lap, or simply just spending time together in the same room.
Head Pats Make Some Dogs Uncomfortable
It’s a natural human impulse to reach down and pat a dog’s head. But watch the dog’s body language, and you may see some signs of avoidance: lowering the head, stepping or ducking away, anxiety-produced yawning or lip-licking, putting their ears back, and what’s called whale eye, which is showing the whites of their eyes. This is especially worth keeping in mind when meeting an unfamiliar dog.
Instead, allow the dog to come to you. You can offer your hand low or kneel down to the dog’s level. If they lean in, they’re likely friendly and welcome your affection.
Dogs Don’t Act Out of Anger or Spite
You come home to chewed-up furniture or an accident. Or your dog has started barking at you for what seems like no reason. They’re not mad at you; dogs tend to live in the moment and don’t plot payback for something you’ve done. Chances are, they’re bored or have been alone too long.
Dogs need a variety of mental and physical stimulation, and some breeds crave human contact more than others. Left alone too long, ignored, or missing playtime, they may find other, more destructive outlets.
In some cases, destructive behavior may signal separation anxiety, which will need to be addressed with training or veterinary intervention.
What’s Behind That ‘Guilty Look’?
You know the look: you come home to a chewed-up shoe, an overturned garbage can, or an accident on the floor. You might react, saying something like, “Bad dog, shame on you!” And then, you get the look. Because we tend to attribute human emotions to dogs, we think the dog feels guilty.
Look closely at their body language: that isn’t guilt, it’s most likely fear. Specifically, they may respond to your posture and tone with typical anxiety or fear reactions: whale eyes, cowering, sudden lip-licking or yawning, and their ears pinned back. Dogs may display this “guilty look” even if they’ve done nothing wrong. It’s a response often triggered by their owner’s behavior, rather than any sense of wrongdoing.
Excusing Bad Behavior Doesn’t Help Your Dog
For example, if your dog sits in your lap and growls or snaps at anyone who comes close, you may think it’s cute or that the dog is “just protecting me.” Or your dog jumps excitedly on anyone who enters the house. What may seem like an adorable way to greet someone could actually be a behavior issue that you need to address.
Establishing clear boundaries and consistent expectations for your dog is key to addressing any unwanted behaviors. Plus, it has the benefit of making them calmer and more confident.
Puppies Can’t Grow Out of Bad Habits Alone
Puppies are inherently adorable, and it’s often difficult to see their behavior as anything other than cute puppy antics. If a puppy learns that begging for food gets them a delicious treat or that growling at visitors is treated as if it’s a cute trick, they won’t suddenly unlearn these behaviors as an adult dog. They’ll keep at it, unless you train them not to. The good news is that most puppies are highly receptive to training. The earlier you establish consistent boundaries, the easier it tends to be for everyone.
The bond between humans and dogs is undeniable, and scientific studies of canine brain activity have shed light on canine behavior and thinking. Our dogs can love us as much as we love them, bring us joy, comfort us when we’re sad, join us in favorite activities, and even protect us from danger. But they’re not human. Learning to understand the way they communicate, and to read their body language, will make your relationship with your dog easier and even more rewarding.